Sunday, December 26, 2010

Auto Tune vs. The Loss of Magic

Hello Internet,

When is enough enough? Are we at the point where we celebrate and idolize people that cannot do their job without the help of a computer? Did Frank Sinatra have auto tune or did he just sing well? and by well I mean awesome.  Did Steve McQueen hire twelve stuntmen to ride a motorcycle for him. Did Charlie Chaplin employ 32 computer engineers to change his facial expressions because they weren't spot on or did he just do another take? Did Picasso use photoshop? Did Mozart use garageband?

Tom Cruise insists that he does as many of his own stunts as possible. Julie Taymor has hired at least 15 stuntmen to play Spiderman on Broadway and collect workman's comp. James Cameron created technology to help change actor's faces incase they didn't get it right on the first try. Heaven forbid that you should have to do another take in front of a green screen. Remember when directors would wait a month for the sun to set in between mountains for a good shot? Remember when a whole album would get released rather than a 99 cent single?

Remember when singers would sing a song correctly rather than Milli Vanilli the whole thing? Ever hear that Britney Spears track of her live without the computer assistance? What does Riahanna's voice sound like? Didn't rap used to be cool and not a bullshit pop phenomenon? Why do we hold people in such high regard when they can't do what they are paid millions of dollars to do. Keanu Reeves actually learned Kung Fu for The Matrix. Its like he cares about acting more than being a star. The cast of That Thing You Do learned their instruments. Mark Wahlberg wasn't actually singing in Rockstar. Zemeckis, one of the greatest directors of all time has given up on actors and works on motion capture rather than dealing with makeup and creative solutions. Peter Jackson created real things in LOTR. Actual lines of sight and classic camera tricks alongside the CGI.

George Lucas used to use models for his spaceships, now they look like they belong in The Simpsons. Spielberg ruined Indy with too much CGI. I liked the gopher gag but it was ruined because I didn't believe it. Will Friedkin built a freezer so that breath could be seen in The Exorcist. Now we just digitally add it because heaven forbid someone should be cold.

Auto Tune is the scapegoat I have decided to use for the masses creating false celebrities who have no real tangible talent. Reality TV is another good example of that kind of bullshit, but we all know that they are attention whores anyway. The "professionals" that can't do what they should be able to do and have become lazy are really who are to blame. Theatre used to be an escape, everything you saw was real and actual. Now Taymor ha started the new movement of creating an illusion and ruining the magic.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Movies

My favorite Christmas Movies:

1. Die Hard
Takes place at Christmas, ends happy, and shit explodes.

2. White Christmas
I watched it when I was a kid, it is classy, there is a bunch of Christmas cheer and hilarity. Also the leads are really good.

3. The Ref
Everyone is spot on with their characters and its a really creative script. The dark side of the Holidays.

4. Bad Santa
I pissed myself watching this. Also there is an asprin and candy corn in an advent calender.

5. Home Alone
Anyone who does not think this movie is awesome is dumb. It exemplifies the true meaning of Christmas believe it or not.

6. A Charlie Brown Christmas
The soundtrack has become iconic and is actually about Christmas rather than just taking place at Christmas.

7. A Christmas Carol
George C Scott's and the Muppets tie.

8. The Santa Clause
This movie is really good. I love Tim Allen so I might be biased but it adds some comedic science to the physics related problems of St. Nick.

9. Joyeux Noel
The WWI Christmas truce for some reason makes me have faith in mankind and that is what this is about.

10. Lethal Weapon
See Die Hard.

11. Christmas Vacation
Much better than when they go to Europe and Randy Quaid kills it.

12. Love Actually
Rowan Atkinson wraps a present. Thats good enough for me.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


Ladies and Gentlemen of the internet Netflix is the greatest thing you could pay 10 dollars for. I feel like an idiot for not buying stock sooner.

I get a huge collection of movies, obscure ones that I can't get at the store, I don't have to worry about it, its not an issue to get a replacement when something is scratched, it is a more personal experience than going to a store and talking to a person. Weird I know.

I am going to assume that everyone is already a member and not tray and sell anyone on it.

Here are my problems with Netflix:

1. When I say I am not interested in a movie it doesn't go away, it stays there and is continually suggested to me. When I say I am not interested then I don't want to see it again. But it would be nice if there was a tab for those movies I am no longer interested in to go through and see if perhaps I changed my mind.

1 1/2: I would like a tab that will list all movies I have already rated in sections from 5-1 stars just in case I want to see something again. Because a movie I already rated shouldn't be suggested to me. Instant has this to a degree but it should be universal.

2: Bring the Netlfix Friends back. It was cool.

3. Instant needs more titles, they know this and are working on it.

4: Writers and Producers should be searchable. I happen to want to see everything that Mamet wrote but don't want to have to go to IMDB and then back to Netflix to see what that might be.

5. I would like to know what everyone else rated a movie, not just what Netflix might think I would rate it. Both is what I am looking for.

6. Basic vs. Advanced or Generic vs. More Information in regards to summary and cast. I want to be able to have the information, at least to a certain degree that IMDB has about the movies I rate on Netflix.

7. Why are some movies no longer available?

8. More movies per search page.

9. I could also go with a type of movie option or keyword search, i.e. Christmas Movies, movies that involve apes, good soundtracks, movies about writers etc.

We are getting a little particular about shit now but seriously, these would be some good adjustments.
Also I am willing to work as a consultant for your company Netflix.