Saturday, October 16, 2010

Why Everyone Should Watch Sports

Name a Disney movie based off of a real life sports drama that isn't awesome.

Sports fans don't necessarily have to read this one because you are already doing a good job. But
I'll probably ask you to not be an asshole later so, maybe stick around.

If you don't understand your friends obsession with a particular game and they won't shut up about it. If you are in a bar and everyone cheers while you roll your eyes, what's your problem? If you live in a big city pick a team that isn't from around there and count how many jerseys you see on game day. Chances are you'll see more than one. Sports are real life soap opera format action serials. Every week and sometimes everyday a new chapter is opened up. There are guest stars and special events. New supporting characters and leads that leave the show. There are Villains and there are Heroes. All of these characters are engaged in an epic battle for an hour at a time. True human struggles.

When you are a fan you can create instant friends and conversation, for at least a few hours in a bar, if not more. Conversation can be struck up anywhere anytime. You can cheer with a group. Feel true elation with a large group of people, pure joy. Or you can become sympathetic and share your pain. High five all over the place, and yes even weep.

The last Superbowl was the most watched event in television history. You probably went to a party and went crazy about the commercials. That Doritos kid was awesome, but wouldn't it be nice to understand all that filler in between the consumerism? Wouldn't it be nice to understand what was going on and why people were cheering.

Pick a sport and then pick a team. make that team your team. Buy a shirt that has their colors in it and wear it every once in a while. Learn the game and get to know the players, read the news reading up to the games and get to know the other team. Ask questions about what is going on, during the commercials. See how it suits you. Chances are your friends will embrace you and be more than happy to share their limited knowledge of the game, and now all of the sudden you have a new hobby and activity.

It is hard to explain the thrill of a brilliant and surprising play. The rush that comes over you when your friends on the field of battle succeed. Yes they will become your friends and you will refer to them as if you know them personally. You will yell at them through the screen. These stories are real. They happen live in front of your eyes and are more unscripted than anything else you will see other than the news. They will always be there for you and, if you are a true fan never let you down. You will see them work hard and get hurt and then start the fight again.

Yes, a true fan. Fake fans badmouth their team and have no hope. They just want scapegoats for their problems and cannot find any good in their team. Faker fans, they are the ones that only get involved in the playoffs when a team is doing well. They are called frontrunners and they are assholes. They act as though they were their the whole time. They tune in for the season finale and are a little lost with what is going on. They don't know the exposition. They haven't seen the character development.  They don't know anything about acts one through four.

I suggest one of the four major sports played with a ball and by a team. Football, Baseball, Basketball, and Hockey. Well thats a puck but whatever. These are the most popular sports in this country. Futbol can also work but it is hard to get the games and it is hard to find fans of teams unless you speak their language. I prefer football. There is less time commitment but there are more rules and players. Think of it like chess with real people. Baseball is a little less action packed and has a huge time commitment. I don't much care for basketball but it might be easier to pick up. 5 players at a time, it moves pretty quick and has simple rules. Hockey, moves very quick has a decent amount of players and there is usually a fight. But it is pretty low scoring. And the other Hockey fans are probably going to fight with a riot squad at some point in time. All of these have subtleties that are hard to pick up by the untrained eye.

Try a fantasy league. You will get to know players all over the league, have personal stakes in more than one game. You have a group of friends to chat with. But just don't start thinking everything because you read some fantasy reports and can badmouth other teams and players because you are going head to head against them that week. When I draft my fantasy team I make sure that I don't draft anyone in my real teams divisions and Make Certain that on game day anyone who I am playing against that week is not in my lineup.

If you like the olympics, thats great I go apeshit when America whens a race and I hate watching swimming. I love curling too. But they happen once every two or four years, depending on what you watch. Tennis and golf seem to go all year round and have big followings. They are good enough. But they are individual sports. You can't feel apart of one persons triumphs, unless you have money on them.  (sidenote: Gambling is also a good way to get involved in sports but be careful and learn about the sport first) A team is something you can get behind, Something you can become a part off.

To sum up.
Great characters and plots. Nail biting, gut wrenching, hair pulling stories. Excitement controlled by the ebbs and flows of game day. You can read a whole other section of the newspaper. Friends and family can join together anywhere and anytime. A great excuse to drink and eat too much. Coordinating your wardrobe is easy now. A couples activity. Ladies, men love it when you get involved with their teams and you have never looked hotter when you wear their colors.
Face paint is expensive and you might get punched.

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